


Safe

by alouise



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Nightmares, Peeta's arms, Unrequited Love, safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1442791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alouise/pseuds/alouise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let's just say this is what I think happens on one of those nights in Catching Fire on the train when Peeta goes to Katniss' room whenever she gets a nightmare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> I got bored one night on the way home from school, so I made this. That's pretty much it. (This is one of my older works, so... bear with me.) Enjoy!  
> -A

As the train pulls up to District 11, I think about how Peeta has always been so immensely kind to me. I have cheated him, lied to him, led him on, and hurt him more than I could ever know, and yet…

Yet he still loves me. If our roles were reversed and I were the one rejected by Peeta, I would hate him beyond reason. I would treat him as if he were a poisonous snake. I would never want to see his face again. Never want to have anything to do with him anymore.

But that isn’t the case, is it? He is the one who is desperately in love with me, the cold, unfeeling and heartless huntress from the Seam. Even if I would develop feelings for Peeta and someday marry him, I would never love enough to bring myself to sire children. I cannot bear to risk putting them in that arena, even if Peeta would want them so badly. Which I’m sure he will.

Maybe it would have been better if I just died in the Games. To save Peeta from all this heartache.

———————————————

I stumble into my compartment in the train, nauseous and dizzy from my visit in 11. Images of Rue’s and Thresh’s families, the whole district saluting me and the old man’s head getting blown up by a Peacekeeper fill my senses, making me weak and vulnerable. How will I be able to convince Snow now? How do I save my loved ones now that I have spoken words that sparked something in 11?

I manage to get to the shower and pull on all the right knobs for ice-cold water. I am shivering uncontrollably when I finish, but the icy water helped clear the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. Now there’s just emptiness, a black emptiness that I’m afraid I’ll drown in but is too frightening for me to battle. I wrap my trembling body with a robe, walk to the bed and bury myself under the covers mechanically, my open eyes unseeing. I don’t want to close them anymore. It would only bring back the images.

But I still end up falling asleep. I sleep fitfully,and I dream. Of Thresh with the bloody rock in his hand, coming towards me to avenge for the old man I killed in the square. Of Rue’s eldest sister swooping down on me like a murderous bird, the knife in her small hand glinting like the anger in her luminous eyes. Of my family, Gale, Haymitch and Peeta getting shot through the head one by one right before my eyes, I unable to move to protect them. And I dream of President Snow, and his green snakelike eyes suddenly starting to cry blood, and somehow I know it is the blood of those I have killed, and the blood of those that will be killed if I don’t convince him, if I’m too late to save them from him-

I wake up screaming myself raw, tears streaming down my cheeks. I am panting and my heart is beating so fast in my chest that I am surprised I don’t have a heart attack that kills me in sleep.

My scream awakens Peeta, and I know this because in mere moments I hear loud and reckless footfalls crashing outside my room, and my door is thrown open and there he stands, eyes immediately seeking for me. When he sees me sitting up on the bed, his eyes immediately fill with relief, but there is still concern in the clear blue I know so well because of the moments in the cave during the Games.

"Nightmare?" Peeta says, and it actually doesn’t come out as a question. He doesn’t even have to ask, for I know he gets nightmares too. He has to. It’s simply impossible that he doesn’t.

I nod, shaken up by my dream. “Did I wake you?” I say, and only because I remember to be nice. Everyone is going through some kind of mental breakdown right now, and Peeta still has the mind to check on me. I should be grateful to him, the boy who threw me the bread when I desperately needed help. I owe him my life.

Peeta answers, “No, I don’t sleep anymore.” When my eyebrows raise questioningly, he smiles this kind of rueful smile that hits me straight in the heart because I can see the pain in his eyes. “I don’t want to be in my dreams anymore.”

"What have your dreams been about?" I whisper. They must be horrible dreams for him to want to fight off sleep deliberately.

"The Games. My family dying. Mostly they’re about losing you, but after I paint you on canvas and comfort myself with the thought that I will see you in the morning, I’m okay," Peeta replies. Again, there is an ache in my chest that comes whenever Peeta says such simple declarations of his love for me. It hurts because I do not deserve it, and he doesn’t deserve to waste something so pure on someone like me.

"Are you okay now?" he says, not knowing how his words have affected me. I nod mutely, avoiding his eyes. "Alright. Good night, Katniss," he whispers, then he turns around and makes his way to the door.

I panic. “Wait,” I blurt out, and the moment I say it, I find out I mean it. I don’t want him to leave me alone in the darkness of my mind, with no one to keep me company. He is the only one who understands my pain, my fear. Apart from Haymitch, of course, but I wouldn’t invite him into my room if my life depended on it.

He turns around, and the surprise on his face is as clear as day. He starts to say something, my name probably, but I cut him before he can get a word out. “Stay,” I croak, hoping against hope that he would forget my indifference to his love. I find that I need him right now, and maybe if I spend one night in his arms, I can forgive myself for this selfish act on the nights without them.

"Alright," he says after a moment’s hesitation, closing the door and making his way to my bed. He crawls in beside me and opens his arms, and I snuggle up to him, and after a few quiet moments in his strong embrace, I feel completely safe and warm. I even allow myself to close my eyes.

This is a rare moment, because I never feel safe anymore. Not in District 12. Not in my house. Not even in the woods. But in Peeta’s arms I do.


End file.
